Barriers to healthy boundaries in relationships

Possible Barriers:

• Developed fear of rejection and abandonment all the while allowing ourselves to be rejected and abandoned by others and we rejected and abandoned them.
• Ran off the people we need to keep in our lives and couldn't get away from those that we don't need.
• Shame as a child growing up prevented us from being our true selves due to lack of nurturning in our family of origin.
• Learned survival techniques by creating a false self (persona, mask)
• Lack of awareness (consciousness) caused us to look for nurturance from other needy people.
• Wanting to trust but don't trust ourselves and end up projecting our distrust onto everyone else.
• Learned to Control or be controlled
• Learned to substitute for lust for love.
• Looking for someone to feel close but substitued sex for closeness.
• Looking for someone to understand how I feel but I don't know how I feel.
• Wanting to be honest but our false self doesn't know the or understand the truth.
• Wanting to share our lives with someone but don't know who we are in order to share.
• Have difficulty giving and receiving in relationships.
• Lack of emotional mirroring or modeling during childhood
• Learned from the authority figures in our lives that what we was was not what we saw, what we heard was not what we heard, what we felt was not what we felt.
• I don't know who I am.
• You don't know who you are.