Characteristics of PERSONS with Healthy Boundaries

Those with healthy boundaries;

• Are secure within themselves and not threatened by others who are different, have different views or opinions, and are open enough to admit new ideas and perspectives without losing their individuality.
• Do not allow themselves to be intruded upon.  They don't become defensive when they say "No."
• Have a clear sense of their own views, values and priorities.  They make informed decisions about what they believe instead of allowing others to decide for them.
• Are able to discern safe and appropriate people with whom to disclose things about themselves.  Be careful about to whom you bare your soul.  People who have experienced rejection from caregivers often look for approval from people who are not able to give it to them.
• Have enough confidence in themselves that they are little affected by mean things others can say or do to them. They can withstand the attack and process their feelings instead of feeling defenselessness and stuffing their feelings.  Each person has a choice in what they do with the pain.  EMOTIONS DON'T REQUIRE REACTIONS!!!
• Can protect themselves without imprisoning themselves.  They choose to safely move in and out of relationships at will.
• Know how to assert themselves at appropriate times in order to stay out of the victim role. You know you are in the victim role if you are living out of shame, in fear of conflict, and tend to isolate in order to do anything to avoid conflict. 
• Able to enter into relationships with others without losing themselves.  Able to say, "I am not you."  To do so, you must be able to be who you are and able to connect with others without losing your identity.  Those who are codependent are unable to do this because they are preoccupied with the needs, values, and wants of others to the detriment of their own.