As yourself the following questions:
A. What is keeping me from solving this problem?
B. What is keeping me from taking any of the possible actions available to me to solve this problem?
C. How do I feel about choosing an action with an outcome of which I am uncertain?
a. What is it about which I am uncertain?
b. What is the worst possible thing that could happen if:
I take the action needed?
I do not take the action needed?
D. What are the blocks and barriers in me, keeping me from taking this "uncertain" action about which I am unsure?
a. What are the possible consequences of ignoring this problem?
b. What are the possible consequences of not taking the risks necessary?
c. What do I need right now to take the risks necessary?
d. What do I need in order to live with myself in case the action I take results in an even more negative situation than I currently have?
**If you find you are still unable to take risk, brainstorm the following:
Alternative, more appealing solutions to the ones you have already identified
Alternative, consequences to not solving the problem
Reasons for not taking a risk over this issue
What would your life be like if you refused to take a risk on this issue?
** Still not sure what to do? Try this...
Visualize a successful solution to the problem in which you not only took a risk but were also a winner.
Keep this visualization active in your mind for a 20 minute meditation period while you rest in a relaxed state. Do this 3 times a day until you feel strong enough to take the risk
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Consequences of NOT taking Risk
The problem or complaint going unresolved
Change being avoided
Maintenance of the status quo, even if its negative
Others turning off to your complaints and pleas for help
No gains in life C stagnation
Over-dependence on others to take care of you
Unhappiness concerning your current status in life
Depression over your problems
Feelings of being stuck C immobilized
A chronic "yes, Y but" attitude
Lack of creativity in problem solving
The problems becoming exacerbated
Your rights and the rights of others being ignored
Experiencing "burnout" in facing your problems
Loss of support from others who have been assisting you in working on your problems.
Loss of physical health
Loss of emotional health
Being isolated and ignored by others as you wallow in self-pity
Your blaming others for not helping to solve your problems
Your self-destructive, self medicating, or self-defeating behavior.
Change being avoided
Maintenance of the status quo, even if its negative
Others turning off to your complaints and pleas for help
No gains in life C stagnation
Over-dependence on others to take care of you
Unhappiness concerning your current status in life
Depression over your problems
Feelings of being stuck C immobilized
A chronic "yes, Y but" attitude
Lack of creativity in problem solving
The problems becoming exacerbated
Your rights and the rights of others being ignored
Experiencing "burnout" in facing your problems
Loss of support from others who have been assisting you in working on your problems.
Loss of physical health
Loss of emotional health
Being isolated and ignored by others as you wallow in self-pity
Your blaming others for not helping to solve your problems
Your self-destructive, self medicating, or self-defeating behavior.
Road Blocks to becoming a risk taker
Fear of rejection
Need for approval
Need to avoid guilt
Need to always be right
Need to know all the "ins" and outs" of a situation
Need for certainty
Lack of belief in yourself and others
Fear of being incompetent
Desire to avoid conflict
Unresolved anger
Poor role modeling in family of origin
Fear of failure
Unwillingness to face problems honestly
Lack of assertiveness in protection of your own rights
Inability to take the responsiblity for your own life
Unwillingness to accept possible negative consequences
Preferring to be unhappy, mired in your problem
Playing it safe
A need for security
Fear of hurting others
Rationalizing the lack of need for direct action
Denial that a problem exists, and action needs to be taken
Projecting the need for action onto others
Intellectualizing about a problem to avoid action
Exempting yourself of responsibility to resolve your problems
Alcohol or drug abuse "clouding" thinking
Over emotional response to a problem
Humoring yourself and others to ignore the problem
Over concern for everybody but yourself
Fear of pain (no pain, no gain)
Absence of desire to change
Irrational belief that it is impossible to change the situation
A disregard for the rights of yourself and others
Confusion about your role in handling the problem
Lack of ownership of the problem
Over-sentimentality for the needs of others
Enjoying the sympathy you receive from others for the problem you face
Inablility to let go of an old belief in a person or institution
A belief that life should always be fair
Need for approval
Need to avoid guilt
Need to always be right
Need to know all the "ins" and outs" of a situation
Need for certainty
Lack of belief in yourself and others
Fear of being incompetent
Desire to avoid conflict
Unresolved anger
Poor role modeling in family of origin
Fear of failure
Unwillingness to face problems honestly
Lack of assertiveness in protection of your own rights
Inability to take the responsiblity for your own life
Unwillingness to accept possible negative consequences
Preferring to be unhappy, mired in your problem
Playing it safe
A need for security
Fear of hurting others
Rationalizing the lack of need for direct action
Denial that a problem exists, and action needs to be taken
Projecting the need for action onto others
Intellectualizing about a problem to avoid action
Exempting yourself of responsibility to resolve your problems
Alcohol or drug abuse "clouding" thinking
Over emotional response to a problem
Humoring yourself and others to ignore the problem
Over concern for everybody but yourself
Fear of pain (no pain, no gain)
Absence of desire to change
Irrational belief that it is impossible to change the situation
A disregard for the rights of yourself and others
Confusion about your role in handling the problem
Lack of ownership of the problem
Over-sentimentality for the needs of others
Enjoying the sympathy you receive from others for the problem you face
Inablility to let go of an old belief in a person or institution
A belief that life should always be fair
Risk Taking is:
Opening yourself to change. It is the accepting of the need for change and it is taking the behavioral steps that will result in that change.
Honest appraisal of a situation in life requiring your action.
Weighing the pros and cons of taking the action.
Making a choice to take the required action.
Performing the action with full consciousness of the risk, pros, and cons, and potential outcome.
Accepting the consequences of such action
The ability to ignore your needs for other's approval in order to take the most appropriate action for you.
The behavioral process involving the gamble that you may experience rejection from others for the actions you have chosen to take.
Pursuing the required actions despite the fear that it will affect others negatively, resulting in their efforts to make you feel guilty about taking such action.
Deciding to make a personal sacrifice of time, energy, ability, and knowledge as an investment to better your circumstances.
Hoping your circumstances will improve as a result of your personal sacrifice, but making it anyway.
The effort to be honest with yourself about your part in interpersonal problems, admitting that you have personal barriers that prevent the resolution of the problem.
Admitting to the others(s) involved what the barriers are and seeking assistance to address those barriers and resolve the problems. Committing to become objective in pursuing a rational approach to the problem.
The willingness to identify irrational blocking beliefs, which hinder resolutions.
Opening yourself to be identified as being too subjective, too emotional, too obstructing, and too hindering in the resolution of your problem.
The willingness to accept honest, objective feedback about the need for you to change your own behavior.
The effort to be less subjective, less defensive, and more open in your search for truth, honesty, and sanity in resolving your problems.
The willingness to take a healing, forgiving, and forgetting attitude in pursuing the resolution of a conflict.
Opening yourself to be vulnerable, to being taken advantage of by the other in the conflict situation.
Demonstrating your trust in the other person's willingness to accept an honest, open, and upfront approach to resolving conflict.
A "Now"-oriented action
Direct confrontation of a problem. It is the absence of procrastination and denial in dealing with a problem.
Responsible action taken to pursue the resolution of a problem.
Honest appraisal of a situation in life requiring your action.
Weighing the pros and cons of taking the action.
Making a choice to take the required action.
Performing the action with full consciousness of the risk, pros, and cons, and potential outcome.
Accepting the consequences of such action
The ability to ignore your needs for other's approval in order to take the most appropriate action for you.
The behavioral process involving the gamble that you may experience rejection from others for the actions you have chosen to take.
Pursuing the required actions despite the fear that it will affect others negatively, resulting in their efforts to make you feel guilty about taking such action.
Deciding to make a personal sacrifice of time, energy, ability, and knowledge as an investment to better your circumstances.
Hoping your circumstances will improve as a result of your personal sacrifice, but making it anyway.
The effort to be honest with yourself about your part in interpersonal problems, admitting that you have personal barriers that prevent the resolution of the problem.
Admitting to the others(s) involved what the barriers are and seeking assistance to address those barriers and resolve the problems. Committing to become objective in pursuing a rational approach to the problem.
The willingness to identify irrational blocking beliefs, which hinder resolutions.
Opening yourself to be identified as being too subjective, too emotional, too obstructing, and too hindering in the resolution of your problem.
The willingness to accept honest, objective feedback about the need for you to change your own behavior.
The effort to be less subjective, less defensive, and more open in your search for truth, honesty, and sanity in resolving your problems.
The willingness to take a healing, forgiving, and forgetting attitude in pursuing the resolution of a conflict.
Opening yourself to be vulnerable, to being taken advantage of by the other in the conflict situation.
Demonstrating your trust in the other person's willingness to accept an honest, open, and upfront approach to resolving conflict.
A "Now"-oriented action
Direct confrontation of a problem. It is the absence of procrastination and denial in dealing with a problem.
Responsible action taken to pursue the resolution of a problem.
Risk
To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvemnt
To expose feelings is to risk rejection
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule
To love is to risk no being loved in return
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. One may avoid suffering and sorrow, he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love. Chained by the certitude's, he/she is slave. Freedom forfeited, for only a person who takes risks is free.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvemnt
To expose feelings is to risk rejection
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule
To love is to risk no being loved in return
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. One may avoid suffering and sorrow, he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love. Chained by the certitude's, he/she is slave. Freedom forfeited, for only a person who takes risks is free.
Self Responsibility
I am responsible for the achievement of my desires.
I am responsible for my choices and actions
I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my work
I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my relationships
I am responsible for my behavior with other people
I am responsible for how I prioritze my time
I am responsible for the quality of my communications
I am responsible for my Personal happiness
I am responsible for accepting and choosing the values by which I live.
I am responsible for raising my self-esteem.
I am responsible for the achievement of my desires
No one owes me the fulfillment of my wishes. I don not hold a mortgage on anyone elses life or energy. If I have desires, it is up to me to discover how to satisfy them. If my goals require the parcipitation of other people, I must be responsible for knowing what they require of me if they are to cooperate in providing in whatever is my rational obligation to provide. For any professed desire to be taken seriously, I must be prepared to answer in realistic terms. "What am I willing to do to get what I want".
I am responsible for my choices and actions
If my choices and actions are mine, then I am their source. I need to stay connected with it, when I choose and Act.
I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my relationships
Am I fully present in my encounters with others?
Am I present to what is being said?
Do I think about the implications of my statements?
Do I notice how others are affected by what I say and do?
I am responsible for my behavior with other people
I am responsible for how I speak and listen. I am responsible for the promises I keep or fail to keep. I am responsible for the rationality or irrationality of my dealings. We evade responsibility when we try to blame others for our actions.
I am responsible for how I prioritize my time
Basically if I insist I love my family more than anyone yet I'm rarely alone with them (off golfing, working, etc). Then I need to confront my contradiction.
I am responsible for the quality of my communication
I am responsible for being as clear as I know how to be. I am responsible for checking to see if the listener has understood me. I am responsible for speaking loudly and distinctly enough to be heard. I am responsible for the resepect or disrespect with which I convey my thoughts.
I am responsible for my personal happiness.
It is my job! Taking responsiblity for my happiness is empowering. It places my life back into my own hands.
I am responsible for accepting or choosing the values by which I live
If I live by values I have accepted or adopted passively and unthinkingly, it is east to imagine that they are just my nature, just who I am. To avoid recognizing that choice is involved. Decisions are cruicial when values are adopted, question them, revise then if necessary. Taking responsibility sets me free.
I am responsible for raising my self-esteem
It is NOT a gift I receive from someone else. It is generated from within. When peple lack self esteem, they often identify self esteem with being loved. Some comfort themselves with the "God loves me". We shouldn't remain dependent children. We should at some point grow into adults and live independently. We should know the difference between things we have control over and things we do not, otherwise you put your self esteem in jeopardy.
Self-responsibility' is expressed through an active orientation to life.
Nathanial Branden, physchologist said of his patients that he always enjoys the "click of a moment where decisive moments "click" and the mind and new forward motion begins.
One ofthe most important moments is when the client grasps "No one is coming" No one is coming to save me, no one is coming to make life right for me, no one is coming to solve my problems.
**If I don't do something, nothing is going to get better.
The dream of this supposed rescuer who will deliver us may offer a kind of comfort but it leaves us passive and powerless. We may feel if only I suffer enough, if only I yearn desperately enough, somehow a miracle will occur and change my situation. However, this kind of self deception one pays for with one's life as it drains away into the abyss of un-redeemble possibilities and irretrievable days, months, decades.**
Nathanial said he used to have patients make signs for his therapy room with a number of different sayings. On patient made a sign that said No-one is coming, another patient said but that is not true, YOU came. He said this is true, but I only came to tell you no one is coming. :)
Thanks for reading, these are notes I've taken from a book I'm reading. I hope it brings awareness in your own life and leads to a path of growth and happiness. :)
I am responsible for my choices and actions
I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my work
I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my relationships
I am responsible for my behavior with other people
I am responsible for how I prioritze my time
I am responsible for the quality of my communications
I am responsible for my Personal happiness
I am responsible for accepting and choosing the values by which I live.
I am responsible for raising my self-esteem.
I am responsible for the achievement of my desires
No one owes me the fulfillment of my wishes. I don not hold a mortgage on anyone elses life or energy. If I have desires, it is up to me to discover how to satisfy them. If my goals require the parcipitation of other people, I must be responsible for knowing what they require of me if they are to cooperate in providing in whatever is my rational obligation to provide. For any professed desire to be taken seriously, I must be prepared to answer in realistic terms. "What am I willing to do to get what I want".
I am responsible for my choices and actions
If my choices and actions are mine, then I am their source. I need to stay connected with it, when I choose and Act.
I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my relationships
Am I fully present in my encounters with others?
Am I present to what is being said?
Do I think about the implications of my statements?
Do I notice how others are affected by what I say and do?
I am responsible for my behavior with other people
I am responsible for how I speak and listen. I am responsible for the promises I keep or fail to keep. I am responsible for the rationality or irrationality of my dealings. We evade responsibility when we try to blame others for our actions.
I am responsible for how I prioritize my time
Basically if I insist I love my family more than anyone yet I'm rarely alone with them (off golfing, working, etc). Then I need to confront my contradiction.
I am responsible for the quality of my communication
I am responsible for being as clear as I know how to be. I am responsible for checking to see if the listener has understood me. I am responsible for speaking loudly and distinctly enough to be heard. I am responsible for the resepect or disrespect with which I convey my thoughts.
I am responsible for my personal happiness.
It is my job! Taking responsiblity for my happiness is empowering. It places my life back into my own hands.
I am responsible for accepting or choosing the values by which I live
If I live by values I have accepted or adopted passively and unthinkingly, it is east to imagine that they are just my nature, just who I am. To avoid recognizing that choice is involved. Decisions are cruicial when values are adopted, question them, revise then if necessary. Taking responsibility sets me free.
I am responsible for raising my self-esteem
It is NOT a gift I receive from someone else. It is generated from within. When peple lack self esteem, they often identify self esteem with being loved. Some comfort themselves with the "God loves me". We shouldn't remain dependent children. We should at some point grow into adults and live independently. We should know the difference between things we have control over and things we do not, otherwise you put your self esteem in jeopardy.
Self-responsibility' is expressed through an active orientation to life.
- Living actively entails independent thinking, in contrast to passive conformity to the beliefs of others
- To live consciously is to live by the exercise of one's mind.
- If we wish to take some form of action or provide some value, we are obliged to offer reasons that are meaningful and persuasive in terms of their interests and goals.
Nathanial Branden, physchologist said of his patients that he always enjoys the "click of a moment where decisive moments "click" and the mind and new forward motion begins.
One ofthe most important moments is when the client grasps "No one is coming" No one is coming to save me, no one is coming to make life right for me, no one is coming to solve my problems.
**If I don't do something, nothing is going to get better.
The dream of this supposed rescuer who will deliver us may offer a kind of comfort but it leaves us passive and powerless. We may feel if only I suffer enough, if only I yearn desperately enough, somehow a miracle will occur and change my situation. However, this kind of self deception one pays for with one's life as it drains away into the abyss of un-redeemble possibilities and irretrievable days, months, decades.**
Nathanial said he used to have patients make signs for his therapy room with a number of different sayings. On patient made a sign that said No-one is coming, another patient said but that is not true, YOU came. He said this is true, but I only came to tell you no one is coming. :)
Thanks for reading, these are notes I've taken from a book I'm reading. I hope it brings awareness in your own life and leads to a path of growth and happiness. :)
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