Self Responsibility

I am responsible for the achievement of my desires.
I am responsible for my choices and actions
I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my work
I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my relationships
I am responsible for my behavior with other people
I am responsible for how I prioritze my time
I am responsible for the quality of my communications
I am responsible for my Personal happiness
I am responsible for accepting and choosing the values by which I live.
I am responsible for raising my self-esteem.

I am responsible for the achievement of my desires
No one owes me the fulfillment of my wishes.  I don not hold a mortgage on anyone elses life or energy.  If I have desires, it is up to me to discover how to satisfy them.  If my goals require the parcipitation of other people, I must be responsible for knowing what they require of me if they are to cooperate in providing in whatever is my rational obligation to provide.  For any professed desire to be taken seriously, I must be prepared to answer in realistic terms.  "What am I willing to do to get what I want".

I am responsible for my choices and actions
If my choices and actions are mine, then I am their source.  I need to stay connected with it, when I choose and Act.

I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my relationships
Am I fully present in my encounters with others?
Am I present to what is being said?
Do I think about the implications of my statements?
Do I notice how others are affected by what I say and do?

I am responsible for my behavior with other people
I am responsible for how I speak and listen. I am responsible for the promises I keep or fail to keep.  I am responsible for the rationality or irrationality of my dealings.  We evade responsibility when we try to blame others for our actions.

I am responsible for how I prioritize my time
Basically if I insist I love my family more than anyone yet I'm rarely alone with them (off golfing, working, etc).  Then I need to confront my contradiction.

I am responsible for the quality of my communication
I am responsible for being as clear as I know how to be.  I am responsible for checking to see if the listener has understood me.  I am responsible for speaking loudly and distinctly enough to be heard.  I am responsible for the resepect or disrespect with which I convey my thoughts.

I am responsible for my personal happiness.
It is my job!  Taking responsiblity for my happiness is empowering. It places my life back into my own hands. 

I am responsible for accepting or choosing the values by which I live
If I live by values I have accepted or adopted passively and unthinkingly, it is east to imagine that they are just my nature, just who I am.  To avoid recognizing that choice is involved.  Decisions are cruicial when values are adopted, question them, revise then if necessary.  Taking responsibility sets me free.

I am responsible for raising my self-esteem
It is NOT a gift I receive from someone else.  It is generated from within.  When peple lack self esteem, they often identify self esteem with being loved.  Some comfort themselves with the "God loves me".  We shouldn't remain dependent children.  We should at some point grow into adults and live independently.  We should know the difference between things we have control over and things we do not, otherwise you put your self esteem in jeopardy.

Self-responsibility' is expressed through an active orientation to life.

• Living actively entails independent thinking, in contrast to passive conformity to the beliefs of others
• To live consciously is to live by the exercise of one's mind.

**You should never ask a person to act against his or her self-interest as he or she understands it** 

• If we wish to take some form of action or provide some value, we are obliged to offer reasons that are meaningful and persuasive in terms of their interests and goals. 

This policy is the moral foundation of mutual respect, goodwill, and benevolence among human beings!!!

Nathanial Branden, physchologist said of his patients  that he always enjoys the "click of a moment where decisive moments "click" and the mind and new forward motion begins. 

One ofthe most important moments is when the client grasps "No one is coming"  No one is coming to save me, no one is coming to make life right for me, no one is coming to solve my problems. 

**If I don't do something, nothing is going to get better.
The dream of this supposed rescuer who will deliver us may offer a kind of comfort but it leaves us passive and powerless.  We may feel if only I suffer enough, if only I yearn desperately enough, somehow a miracle will occur and change my situation. However, this kind of self deception one pays for with one's life as it drains away into the abyss of un-redeemble possibilities and irretrievable days, months, decades.**

Nathanial said he used to have patients make signs for his therapy room with a number of different sayings.  On patient made a sign that said No-one is coming, another patient said but that is not true, YOU came.  He said this is true, but I only came to tell you no one is coming. :)

Thanks for reading, these are notes I've taken from a book I'm reading.  I hope it brings awareness in your own life and leads to a path of growth and happiness.  :)